Have you ever experienced a moment in your life that completely changed your perspective?
After attending a two-day retreat for a business coaching program, I challenged myself to break through some obstacles that were holding me back. Mainly, money.
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that I’m irresponsible with money.
Yes, I’m aware that I’m a fully grown adult and should be able to spend the money that I make however I like. The problem is that I always go back to the same lessons my dad taught me about money.
My dad is a money hoarder. He pinched every penny he had and found a lot of his own worth to the family lay in how he managed money. Most of my adult life, any conversation with my dad has been around money. He’s always been a financial safety net for me to fall back on ‘just in case.’
However, with that dynamic between us, I’ve always self-sabotaged myself in a way so that I would continue to be reliant on him and we could maintain the same relationship we’ve had since I was a child.
The problem was that I had the limiting belief that I was irresponsible with money and that’s why I was so reliant on him. This has been a crippling limiting belief for me as I’ve gotten into running my own business because an unhealthy relationship with money in your business can be disastrous both professionally AND personally.
It wasn’t until I returned home from the business retreat that I realized that my thinking that I was irresponsible with money was nothing more than a limiting belief. It began at a young age and I’ve fed that monster throughout adulthood too!
Well…not anymore!
I’ve realized that you don’t have to let your limiting beliefs hold you back from stepping into your true potential.
I learned a lot from my last coaching retreat, and I’m going to share a few of the key takeaways I got from the retreat in hopes that it can trigger a subtle or even a powerful shift in your life too!
{If you want to listen to the podcast episode on this topic, click on the player at the top of the post. Alternatively you can watch the video below, or read on…}
1. EVERYTHING IS A BELIEF. There are no absolutes
This one can be difficult to wrap your head around, but I’m going to ask you to really try!
The truth is that every single thought or opinion you have is a belief that you created. There are no absolutes.
You might be thinking…well, Tara, my current situation is not a belief, it’s my reality and I can’t change it. Hold up! The belief that your circumstances are your reality and you can’t change it is still a belief.
Whether you think running a business is hard or that adding on staff will give you more time, both are nothing more than beliefs. And, the thing about beliefs is that you can CHANGE them.
There’s not a single thought we have that wasn’t shaped from experience or someone else’s experience that was pushed on us in some way.
My limiting belief that I was irresponsible with money caused me to never create a budget with my husband. Any conversation related to finances and savings was enough to make me want to hide away until it blew over. I didn’t like talking about money because, in my mind, money was always related to control and sometimes, manipulation.
So, a decade passed by and I never let my husband tell me what I could or couldn’t do with money. Then, when I became the main breadwinner, the dynamics were turned upside down even more.
It wasn’t until I got back from the retreat that my husband and I finally sat down and created our family budget. It was at that moment I realized I eliminated my belief around budgeting, and it felt so free I can’t believe I ever let such a limiting belief hold me back for so long.
2. There is no good or bad, right or wrong
Some of you might disagree with me on this one but hear me out. What we define as good or bad is another belief. It’s our moral compass that helps us make decisions in our daily life. However, not everyone has the same moral compass.
Some people might believe that something is bad while others believe it’s good. A double cheeseburger from Mac Donald’s may be seen as unhealthy by one person but someone else might not think that way. They could eat a double cheeseburger every day and not think twice about it.
My point is that there is no good or bad, just lots of different beliefs and moral compasses spinning in different directions.
Another common example is people with a lot of money. What is the first thought that pops into your head when you think of wealthy people?
A lot of people see the rich as gluttonous, entitles or evil. However, you’ll also find people who see the rich as inspirational and something to aspire to. Neither is right or wrong.
Another example is when people believe that money is the answer to all of their problems while others think that money will never be enough to solve them.
Whatever your beliefs are, you are in control of nobody else’s but your own. We assign our own moral value on things as good or bad. Doing so helps us to survive in this world but it doesn’t necessarily serve you. Often, those same moral beliefs could be the very things that are crippling you from living to your full potential.
3. What you focus on is what you get
You’d be surprised at just how powerful your mind is. When you begin to understand the power of controlling and choosing your thoughts, you can make huge changes to your perspective and your life.
You might not know this about me, but I suffer from anxiety. So, controlling my thoughts and keeping them from getting out of hand isn’t always the easiest thing to do. However, I refuse to let my mind take me down a path that creates more anxiety and stress.
What you focus on is what you get. So, if you focus on the negative, all you’ll see around you is evidence supporting that negative thought.
If you focus on the positive, you’ll start seeing evidence to support your newfound positive mindset.
When I chose to believe that I am responsible with money, I can start seeing proof to support that claim in my own life. For example, my husband and I bought our first house in 2010 when prices were low in the market. Nine years later, the market improved, and we were able to get a great return on investment for that purchase. Then, we were able to purchase a bigger house and still had money left over in savings.
Aside from our home, we have no debt. That’s something that I look to as evidence that I have always been responsible with money. It’s true that what you focus on, the more you’ll get in return.
If you stick to the same limiting beliefs and you think money is scarce, you’ll continue to find proof in that belief. But…if you take the approach that money flows to you like a river and it’s in abundance, you’ll start to find evidence and proof of that mindset.
Five money mantras to live by
Sometimes you need help to reinforce positive beliefs. So, here’s five money mantras that I challenge you to use over the next week to change your perspective on money and start changing your life too.
The next time you feel negative about money, I want you to come back to these five mantras and say them out loud!
- Money flows easily to me, like a river.
- I am deserving of money and living in abundance.
- I am grateful for what I have and what I’ve accomplished so far.
- I am good with finances and am empowered to keep learning more about it.
- My Success is inevitable and every challenge I face is happening FOR me, not TO me.
Register for YBYE FREE Workshop
My most popular video training is back on September 23rd! This free video workshop, “Your Best Year Ever,” is a four-part video training series that teaches you…
- Three ways to make more money in your business
- Where to focus your attention to grow your business
- The step by step path successful Lashpreneurs take to go from overlooked to fully booked
…And the #1 way you can create the business of your dreams easier and faster!
This workshop is totally free to join, and the videos will be available for a limited time starting on September 23rd.
To register for this workshop, head over to: thelashpreneur.com/bestyearever
Have a Good One!
Tara Walsh
The Lashpreneur
